SCHOOL TEACHER FIRED

Slenderdeer High School has become embroiled in yet another policy incident after it's Head of Modern Languages was fired last Friday. Bethelra Barraba, who had occupied the position for two years following the disappearance of former Head, Anceska Fannis, faces an uncertain future in an academic world that seems unwilling to give second chances.

It is reported that when Mrs Barraba was teaching some of her year 7 students some elementary directions in German, she told the students that one of the phrases meant "go straight" along the road. Thinking no more of the lesson, Barraba retured home that evening to find a letter on her doormat informing her that she had been fired for discrimination and intolerance. When Barraba called the school to clarify what was happening, they told her that the phrase "go straight" could be considered insensitive to homosexuals, and she should have used "head in a linear direction" instead.

Mrs Barraba immediately issued a statement to the press, accusing the school of "petty-minded bureacracy" and suggesting that the powers that be "spend more time thinking about how to help the students and less time putting teachers over a barrel".

Mrs Barraba suggested a live interview with the Head of the Education Authority, but unfortunately the latter could not be contacted.