LOCAL VILLAGE TO BE SUED
It has undoubtedly been the most eventful few weeks in the sleepy Suffolk village of Occold's long history, but for all the wrong reasons. 13 days ago it transpired that the local pub had run out of beer, and now the village is being sued by a pop singer, in a bizarre contravenence of newly passed anti-paparazzi legislation.
Yesterday morning, Alexys SXE (real name Alexandra Jones) was caught on a speed camera, going 80mph in a 30mph zone. Ordinarily such an act would result in a loss of points, and or a revoking of licence and a sizeable fine. But SXE has been fully cleared of all charges, and in a remarkable turnaround, the village of Occold has been charged with taking her photo illegally, under paragraph 6, sub-section 3 of the new Citizen's Privacy Act.
Despite residents' complaints that it was the the police themselves that took the singer's photo, a substantial fine is expected to be levied against the residents, which will be collected in the not-so-subtle guise of a raise in council taxes. Suffolk County Police were unavailable for comment.