TALKING PUT UNDER THE SPOTLIGHT

The Local Councils of East Anglia are meeting this week to discuss the protocol of communication, and their decisions could have a major impact on the way we communicate as a nation. Although the meeting is to be behind closed doors, a memo was leaked yesterday, detailing the items for discussion. Amongst the most contentious are the following:

- From January 1st, 2007, all forms of communication through glass and any other transparent or translucent material is to be made illegal, due to the implied symbolism of guard-prisoner.
- From June 1st, 2007, spoken communication must be without gestures of any kind, and gestures must not be accompanied by spoken communication, due to the danger of appearing threatening and offending those of other cultures.
- From January 1st, 2008, all words pertaining to the male sex are to be banned (see attached list), due to implied sexism.

Officials from the Central Council in Norwich have refused to comment on the memo, although an anonymous source vouches for its authenticity. The meeting is expected to be held on Friday morning.