LOCAL DIGNITARY IN PC ROW

"I believe absolutely that I am correct regarding this matter, and I refuse absolutely to back down."

The words of Brundish Mayor, Sir Dean Irakard, who yesterday collided head on with Suffolk's Local Council on issues of protocol and political correctness. Sir Dean had been asked to moderate the Local Council's Autumn debate, the subject being the supply and maintenance of paper in offices and schools. The trouble started when Sir Dean, having been introduced as the Chair of the debate, corrected the speaker, and asked to be referred to as Chairman. The speaker reportedly refused, and insisted that Sir Dean be called the Chair. The Mayor was in no mood for "flimflamming", in the words of an eyewitness, and refused to participate until he was named accordingly. After a lengthy closed door consultation, the Local Council refused, and asked that Sir Dean stick with the orignal title. Hearing this, the local dignitary then stood up and said "I am a man, and I was going to moderate this debate, so therefore I would have been the Chairman. As it is, rather than stay here and watch the paint dry I'm going to partake in a pub lunch," which was followed, according to some eyewitnesses, by a slow two-fingered salute to the stunned Councilors.

Whether the Local Council will take matters further will become clear once they have debated the issue next week.